I have gotten a little too comfortable lately I think. Jacob is always so blase' when we talk and so unconcerned and I think that it has been rubbing off. I am not saying that I want to run around worried and paranoid, I am simply saying that I have grown complacent and that isn't always a good thing. That false sense of security. I know in my head that Jacob is living in a dangerous world and I know that something could happen to him, but sometimes that slips away and becomes nothing more than words instead of reality. Nobody start panicking right now. Jacob is fine. He had just told me earlier that there was some incident with an IED sometime earlier and it freaked me out. I, of course, didn't let him know this, but I was a little shocked and terrified he was going to tell me that somebody I know was hurt or worse. Every one is fine by the way. Well, there is no permanent damage done in any case, or so he said. I don't have any other specifics and am not likely to, so don't ask. If you know a military family involved in this, don't call checking on them. If anything happens we know first and we will call people when we are ready. Personal coping comes first. Anyway, the point I was making was that it took me by surprise and scared me! I find myself suddenly reminded that something could go wrong and my husbands number could be up. That is not a pleasant realization to come to...again. I made peace with that during the last deployment and before he left again this time, but to have it brought to the fore that way when I had myself all complacent and relaxed is jarring. I can pray and you can pray and the military can train those men every day until the end of time and it means nothing against the will of God. So now I have to pray that his will is for my love to come through unscathed. This has been a very humbling thing for me. So now I ask for your prayers for myself as well as our soldiers. I can cope. That isn't the issue. I just need some peace, just a small measure of it. I usually do pretty well with that, but it is not to be today. Not on my own anyway.
I have kickboxing later though so that will help! lol!
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I hate that this happened. I know that something bad is always in the back of my mind because he's my brother, but you being his wife...I am sure it's hard to keep it from being in the foreground. I remember when he was in Iraq and their base got hit and my brother-in-law called me because he heard something on NPR about it. I knew what was going on, but had no more information and it made me feel so terrible not being to ease everyones minds because I really didn't know anymore than they did!
Yeah, lack of info can be frustrating. That whole ignorance is bliss thing is so far off of the mark! At least this time people aren't calling me every time they see something on the news. That was nerve wracking.
I'm glad Jacob and his guys are alright. The soldiers and their families at home have my daily prayers.
Thank you so much for your prayers Mandi! They mean more than I have words to express!
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